No.1 Primate

My little monkey
Soon-to-be damn dirty ape
Taller than me now

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A place like this

cashier

I’ve had a crush on you for a generation
The first time I saw you, you were selling slices
spiky hair
gold chain
tee shirt
tall and hunky
cleft chin
killer grin
cheshire motherfucker
younger than me
summer beach guy
I’d have bet anything
trouble for all of us with an aching to be pleased
But I smiled and took my pizza and said goodnight
Like a good mom does

once I saw you in a local bar
while I drank with another
chasing my lonely with attempts at a partner
I don’t easily forget a face like yours

Now I’m wiser all over
And you’re behind another counter
Gloves in your pocket
Utility knife
Handing out the stickers to the children of mothers and wives
Who bat their eyes unconsciously
and giggle
at the charming bell ringer

You’re skinnier now
hair flattened out
age catching up with you
something hard in your history
taking it’s toll
no gold
jeans on your slender frame
good working man shoes
boring by all accounts
except for that fucking “I can eat it all” smile

Ding ding

And I could swear on my life we’re making contact
In some delusion I have been able to conjure since the first time I felt my sex
You kept turning around
I’m standing in line holding meat and waffles
No style
No fancy bag or hair effect
I feel you
I’m nobody
Nothing
But you’re a rock star behind a register
I’m a groupie with a basket full of sundries
wanting to catch your stare
And it feels like you’re aware
my eyes are only on you

I don’t know why you’re here
You could be anything or anyone else
What in your life has kept you behind a counter
Kept you from greater adult definitions of greatness
Evidence suggests that smile has got you in a pickle
Maybe more than once
Maybe there are mouths to feed
or maybe being a big fish in a small man pond
made you never want to leave
Maybe some simple life is your success
It should deter me like a plague
But I’m a sucker for a good story

I couldn’t make contact today
I want to
I have longed to for a decade
But mostly I look away
I have kissed you a thousand times
In my mind
That face has placed itself
inches from mine
I’ve taken every picture
From every angle
of that jawline

It’s highly likely
your talents are legendary
So why do you stock shelves
instead of investing big money
I assume you have lost something
Or never knew how to win
Except at making ladies swoon
I understand that compulsion
Which is why I feign at playing shy
Instead of challenging you at the game

But oh how my old soul wants
to be the focus of your eyes
Beautiful paper bag slinger
In my dreams you can ring me up
Anytime

 

 

It’s not what “She” said

It’s the same kind of venom

The belittling
The degrading

Go home little girl, you aren’t smart enough to play with the big boys

Go home
Shut that girly mouth and stick to what you know

Shut up

You don’t understand the big world
You don’t know how things REALLY work
Silly girl

Let the big men handle it
You don’t know what you’re talking about
Don’t worry your dumb pretty head another minute

…..

I’d love to “meat” you in a nightclub
Back when I was a bad bad bad girl
Cozy up
Cover you in flattery and ecstasy in learning of your great accomplishments
Big man
I bet you say that to all the girls
Show you how impressed I am
Pay attention to no one but YOU
Because you’re so thoughful and masculine
“My stars, you must read a lot”
Makes your cock hard because you’re getting confirmation that you’re the one
I believe your charade baby
You look 100% all man-made

“Oh you’re so sexy can we go to your place? I need to lie down on your big king size. These shoes are pretty but they hurt my girlie feet. Maybe you can rub them for me…”

You’re so smart
You’re winning at this conquest
Look how easy!
You’re so fucking cool. These bitches don’t know what they’re getting, do they. They’re getting the motherload of you. That’s a jackpot of oh yeah. The odds were in your favor.

I know.
I’ve known for years.
I’ve been underneath, on top, behind, beside, between…
I didn’t have to let you in.
I made you bring me here.

Take off all your clothes
Lay down
Leave yourself exposed
Look at you so pleased with yourself
Could this have happened to a better guy?
Bet you’re excited now
I’m so vulnerable
I’m female
I was made to please you
wasn’t I?

Feel that baby?
Like when I tie you to the bed?
Simple pleasures, right?
Yes, I have to make it that tight

Oh look at that! It’s so late
I’m dreadful tired
Silly me I forgot I have to be up early tomorrow
Such a ditz, I’d leave my head at home if it wasn’t attached
I have to go
My boss is a bear and I don’t want to be late in the morning
He’s promised me advancement if I keep being a good little assistant

You’ll be fine right here
I’m sure you can get untied all by yourself
You’re a big strong man
Didn’t you learn all
that stuff in boy scouts?

Tootles cutie
Sorry I have to leave right now
We were having so much fun
Weren’t you?
Such a pity

Hate to leave you hanging
Oh wait
No I don’t.
I hope you suddenly become aware that you have no friends
I hope you shit the bed
terrified, alone and dehydrated
And when they find you
Crying tears of desperation
Soiled and compromised
Just another pile of DNA, muscle and bone
on a bed

You’re just like everyone else inside
Vulnerable
Powers we don’t fully understand
leaving us mercifully alive

I just wanted to remind you
You’re as full of shit
As I am
Harsh?
Why yes
My actions are justified
From the moment you saw me as something instead of someone
What other way is there
To prove to you how simple
we ALL truly are?

I’ll just go home
I’ll let myself out
of all of this
You’re lucky I’m a simple
girl
I was considering burning your house down