Broken Road

Wanna run away
Escape needs accomplices
But I’ve got no one


Beach Day

Love for the weather worn and the waves
With me all my MidAtlantic life
Coastal living, a shining light in my escapist dreams
Salt infused breezes and tides
Soothe what is loud and busy in this me
Sand in my everything be damned

The flipside…
A beacon to reduced clothing options
Where a million triggers lie in wait
The beautiful and the hideous
Find partners and hold hands and hearts and sticky finger licking taffy wrappers
I walk among them
Wanting to touch any cellulite-free skin
To see what smooth really feels like
And fathers, boyfriends, husbands
Don’t look here
You’ve reached mint status as a provider/lover/alpha
Looking my way would only take you down a notch or completely
I’ll make up something anyway
But you don’t have to help me

There’s no bored walk when I’m surrounded by the board shorts and the open toes
The strange skin tones against often bright bleached hair and teeth
The inadvertent muscle flexes
The athletes and gene pool winners at home riding surf looking to catch one
Hey, me too dude

The ill-fit triangles and sarongs and mini up-to-here-my-mother-said-I-could-wear-it-cause-I-have-bathingsuit-on stares
Reminisce about a pink flowered bikini I once inhabited
Diseased and voracious as a rabid dog and as good as I’ve ever looked…

Melancholy will set in when what you wish for is all around and you can’t have it or be it

And you’re surrounded by the beauty of the literal end of the land
The ocean is bigger than any
one sunny smile
It’s wider and louder that any one I-love-you-want-you-need-you
It’s life and death
a hypnotic tiptoe away
It’s wonderous
Hard to wrap my consciousness around it
So caught up in what I covet

But I can go back tomorrow.
I can get in my car and return.
Miles of coastline at my command
I can stare down the thundering surf
Deafen myself to the roiling sea of humanity behind me
Find a shell like no one else’s
Feel the salt in my hair
Disappear among the umbrellas and sunglasses
Take another beach day