I Submit

I loved how he demanded my surrender
I wasn’t a child being disciplined
I was a grown woman being given a direct order
Instructions
It was deliberate
Like he saw me
And knew I had to be told
Restrained
Overpowered

I’M SO FUCKING HARD
I’M GONNA GIVE IT ALL TO YOU
ALL OF IT
ARE YOU READY FOR IT?

He wasn’t asking me
He wanted to know if I would obey
But he was no daddy
Just a man who had guns and a badge
And me
Because I can’t have that
He was in control
More and more
Yelling at me
His cock talking like a construction foreman
At me
Not to me
And I had to listen

YOU FEEL THAT?
DO YOU FEEL WHAT I AM GIVING YOU?
FEEL HOW DEEP THAT IS?
YOU FUCKING FEEL THAT?

He was yelling at me
Angry and swollen
His voice deep and full of hard words
Why did it make me so weak with need?
If I could trust him to keep me safe
I’d be fully falling

TAKE IT
TAKE WHAT I GIVE YOU
YOU HEAR ME?
YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT?
SHUT THAT MOUTH AND TAKE IT!

It’s the most concentrated type of attention
It’s rage and it’s love
I never wanted to become incoherent and subservient so badly
Until that moment on the phone
When he told me I was his property

YOU HEAR THAT?
SAY IT
WHO IS YOUR MASTER?

He told me he loved me
Moments before
He was lording over me
Animal
Rogue warrior
Drill Sergeant
He told me he loved me
And he broke me
Via satellite
Airwaves
Tenuous radio frequencies

SHUT THAT PRETTY MOUTH
TOUCH YOURSELF
COME FOR ME
YOU GONNA BE GOOD AND COME
FOR ME?
I’LL SLAP THAT ASS SO HARD
DO AS I SAY!

I can’t remember ever feeling so complete
And splintered into a million billion light years
Primitive
Free
I came like the animal he became for me
I’d come now
If he could own that beautiful fire
If he could love another
If he could mean what he said about being a master
If he could realize his own power
If my surrender was what he really needed

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3 thoughts on “I Submit

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