I say this today, but…

I renounce you all
I release you to the winds
I can’t carry this corpse of my hunger forever
Must no longer relinquish my value for begging

I do it Monday and Tuesday and this week and last year
I cry over and over
I lose my place
Someone shimmers
I forget to breathe

One time the sparkles were all tainted
I couldn’t see or taste the poison
Until it was me
I leeched into the world
And nothing replaced the depravity

I turned away from that hellish red life
The toxins still finding their way up

I am determined to break
To be free

I still see faces that I have no place seeing
I learn secrets and share stories
Not meant for my ears
My own yarn was spinning now in knots in the corner
Taken over by tragically hipper affairs

I’m so tired
I’d like go get out
Into the wild of me
Forgetting every lingering masculine
Finding what lies underneath
Ready to claim it
Ready
Truly ready for my own singularity

Inspiration and consistent thumping
Messages need to hit like hammers
Tell me to go forward
push me
keep pushing me
To lay down my arms
Every other beat

“It’s ok
You just have to take one step
And you might stutter”
The next one will come
And another
Then go
surefooted
arms open
go

let
go

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