Day 4 into 5 : Say goodnight

Got sympathy in therapy
Realized the only talking I’ve done about the MC Situation has been in the ether all alone
but yet so not alone
I forgot I hadn’t actually spoken

Fatigued and enlightened and $40 lighter
flitted off to Old Navy
excited by coupons
Then hurry home for a date with a ham sandwich

The ham was bad
But I insisted on getting porked somehow
Bacon is the best friend a jilted lover wannabe can have
(The vibrator has the week off)
And Netflix was waiting by the couch with open arms

Hours and episodes later
Orange Is The New Black took over
The guard/prisoner romance has me
The actors actually tongue kiss
Gets me right where it burns

4 in the morning
Here comes that longing
So you know, I’m going to consider your offer, Glenn
Inconvenient and otherwise
I’m telling all my friends here
Because they hear me roar
My whiny poor me moan
And validate with little stars and likes
And hellos
I have not asked for
Face to face from a single human’s face
(Glenn can’t hear me, but if he could I’d ask for his company)

Alone
In the darkest hours
I slept through them last night
And today was tomorrow
Until I fixated on drama behind bars
Because I don’t want my story
For a few hours or more

I tried to cry
And the whimper
Was so boring
I gave up

Reliving the rejection
Sitting in Dr. Why Don’t You Tell Me About Its office
I’m not enough for yet another

So what do I get to have
Maybe a recommendation from a stranger
To fuck my friend
Who has a #1 steady
That’s advice
You give to your worst enemy

One thing is true
MC has not received contact of any kind from this Female
The fortress around my heart is holding
Despite imagined pleas by an ex-Police man
I rock on

Day 5, you’re shaping up to be beautiful

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