Not my type

You look at me and want
You can see in my eyes that I have something to offer
I don’t look away when you focus on me
I give it right back
You can feel it coming off me in waves: AVAILABLE

You will be/are/have been my lover
My hunger
My need
My craving
is something you love to discover
It means you won’t be lonely tonight
You’ll get exactly what you came looking for
It means you don’t have to work
or try
or appear to respect me
Why should you?
I put the main course on the table before you opened the menu

“I’m an open book”
“I have nothing to hide”
“Anything you want to know”
“I don’t play games”
But I always wish you’ll make the first move
I hope you’ll initiate and inquire
Show real interest
You only want to see how it starts up and then you’re gone when you’re finished

But I know this
It’s just your type I manifest
Over and over
The stares I converted
The attention I perverted
My shaky moral compass diverted
By the empty promises of my predator
My self
My cracked soul
Sending out sonar
Looking for broken ones
Just like you
Because no one responds to bad signals
Like bad responders

And here you are
“Just like I hoped
I’d never see again”
(I always say that)
Are you ready to help fulfill this cyclical prophecy?
Ready to help me self-destruct again?
Ready to walk when the walls crumble and the flames soar?
Ready to look at me with dead eyes when I tell you I feel something?

You’re always ready for someone like me
You’ll always be there
Everywhere
Irony in your indifference
I can count on being the last on your list
That kind of consistency is something to be missed

I’ll look over my shoulder every so often
Nod my head
Yeah I remember when I couldn’t stay away
But I’m not looking to sign up for one-way missions anymore
I don’t think you’re the right one this way
I’m seeking sanctuary
Creating boundaries
Steering clear of gypsies
Like you, and the many more before you
I won’t be insulted when you move along to the next wounded and willing
It’s become apparent you weren’t my type
From the beginning

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